How Do You Start to Love Yourself?

Dec 14, 2022anxiety, Counseling, Therapy0 comments

How Do You Start to Love Yourself?

Building self-esteem to improve your mental health

So how do you love yourself?

This is a really big question! It’s important to start exposing and disrupting negative self-talk and negative self-regard. We don’t always notice that we have a negativity towards ourselves, it might come out in different themes or narratives of negative self-talk that you do towards yourself. You may be well aware of it, but it can also manifest as a negative self-regard, just a negative feeling towards yourself.
We want to notice when that’s happening and move towards disrupting it.

One of the ways that we can disrupt it is identifying how we bully ourselves.

Sometimes we think that if we like come at ourselves, like a really tough coach that we’re going to whip ourselves into shape, and that this is going to help us to stop negative behaviors and emotions.

This approach, like almost bullying ourselves into compliance, is not at all effective. It usually perpetuates negative patterns of behaviors, emotions and thoughts and it basically fuels these patterns. We want to stop bullying ourselves and one of the remedies that we can use for bullying ourselves is noticing, if we have a separate set of rules for ourselves, for example, ask yourself: am I very allowing, understanding and tolerant of certain behaviors in other people that I am not tolerant of in myself? If you have a separate set of rules for yourself looking at that and trying to soften that harshness towards yourself. Also, remind yourself that you’re always do doing your best with the resources that you have and these resources can change throughout the day. Acknowledging that, I’m always doing the very best that I can, that my best looks different from day to day from month to month, year to year, but I always have that intention of doing my best. So again, not coming down really hard on yourself, can support you in softening towards yourself.

This is critical, disrupting that negative self-talk decreasing that that bullying and reframing into, I’m always doing the best I can with the current resources that I have available to me. So in the moment we are disrupting negativity towards ourselves. Then overall, we want to express kindness towards ourselves through self-care and being focused on our overall well-being. This can look like making sure that you’re doing physical activity that you find resourceful. If there is a magic wand for mental and emotional distress, it is exercise, I’m stating this from a scientific perspective. Exercises is tremendous in helping you to regulate emotionally and in shifting mental and emotional distress. Any kind of physical activity that you feel drawn towards, make a priority for that to happen in your life.
Other ways to express kindness towards yourself include seeking out small acts of comfort. Years ago I decided that I would only wear things that are comfortable, and I continue to do that as an act of love towards myself. Enjoying food that you eat, savoring each bite is an act of love towards yourself. Basically, all day long and drinking hot sweet tea. I just find it really soothing. Honing in on what brings you joy and comfort and accentuating that throughout your day is another way to begin the path of self-love.

The most important relationship is between you and precious view. You’re worthy of your love!

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